Starting over again is one of the toughest things we have to do in life. This is because all aspects of your life are affected. Separation and divorce or perhaps the death of a partner are the events we think of first.
But what if you are the loyal employee of a company for 20 years or so and all of a sudden you lose your job? In this situation your financial life, self-pride, and love for your job are burst asunder.
You might have to restart the skills and education process you thought you had left far behind. Or what if you had a financial catastrophe and lost all your money or your house burned down and you had no insurance?
If you are reading this, then you are ready to begin. Take a deep breath and trust that you will heal. Life won’t be the same as before. That’s a certainty. But you will gain strength from knowing that with help, support and a positive attitude, you will find a path forward.Check out getting over grief and loss for more help. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
The tips below for starting over again are solutions for your difficult challenge. As painful as the situation is, the ground falling from underneath you can be a blessing in disguise, a time for renewal and personal development.
Taking control of your new situation is the best approach by far. Resisting is like trying to hold a beach ball under water. It won’t stay there and you also cannot stay in the place you are now.
Choose the tops tips for starting over again that resonate with you the most.
1. Starting over again is creating a new beginning. Although you are hurting in many ways, work on developing a positive mindset. Your outcome will be much more successful when you know that you have the power to make conscious decisions for your future. You are in charge.
2. Take small steps at a time as though you are slowly climbing a ladder -- one rung at a time feeling your way. You are in uncharted territory and life will seem out of kilter. Understand the process and be patient with yourself as you chart your way.
3. Know that that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well for starting over again.
4. Accept Change. This means understanding that you aren’t the same person you were 1,2 or 5 years ago. Your values will most likely be the same. They are fundamental to who you are. But your goals will have changed over the years. Trust that the pieces will eventually fall into place.
5. Talk to someone. This might not be a friend or family member. Expressing your thoughts is a powerful healer and transferring your story will lighten your load. Your road for starting over again will lighten with this action.
6. Do something reasonably risky. This is the time to take risks to jump out of your comfort zone. Try new activities. If you shy away from risk taking, now is the time to give yourself permission. After all you are already in the throes of change. Know that fear is the thief of dreams.
If you are bound up with the thought of change, write down the worst that can happen. Include details. Awareness will give you strength. Knowledge is power. You’ll be surprised that the risk you have considered might not be awful after.
7. Make a plan and stick to it. Set realistic goals for yourself and adhere to them.
8. Make peace with the past. Accept your life – all of it, the rough parts and the shiny ones. All your defeats and all your victories. The past was then. You are on a new track.
You are living in the present, not the past.
9. Clean house. Possessions can drag us down. Sort through clothes, (we only wear 20% of them), old devices and trinkets. Declutter. The more you let go of stuff, the lighter you’ll feel. Unburdened, you will have more energy because you’ll have less to manage and more time to live.
10. Acknowledge that “pain is inevitable – suffering is optional.” (Marie Forleo)
Whatever has happened in your life will be hard. But the pain will not last forever unless you get stuck and allow it to. Or if you resist change. Feel the pain.
But don’t wallow in it unproductively. You'll find in the process of starting over again the strength to move forward.
12. Update your social life. Join groups. Find new friends and acquaintances.
13. Learn how to laugh more often. Laughter relaxes the body and boosts the immune system. It improves blood flow and the function of blood vessels. Laughing improves mood and reduces stress. It is one of the body’s best remedies for starting over again.
14. Share your knowledge with others. Take stock of your talents and skills. They don’t have to be spectacular. By sharing your knowledge, time and experience, you’ll reenergize your life.
15.. Practice saying “Yes.” Good change doesn’t happen with negativity. Avoid resisting change. The more you say “Yes”, the easier the path forward will be.
16. Practice saying “No” too. Don’t get yourself trapped into doing a lot of things you have no interest in. Make wise decisions about your time. Say “No” to requests you don’t have the time or interest for.
17. Embrace brain fitness. The most important tool you have is your brain. Keep learning new things. Try a new language. Dancing is excellent for body and mind. Remembering the steps and manoeuvres is a great mental stimulus.
18. Take care of your needs. Your time and energy are very important now. Yes, for sure help others – but not to your detriment. Don’t blame yourself or feel shame for anything. These emotions can suck the life from you.
19. Take charge of your actions. Avoid reacting to situations. Reacting is passive. You don’t want to be chased by life.
20. Know that you create the stories you tell yourself. You are the script writer and you have the power to make those words and thoughts affirming. This is a top tip for starting over again.
Starting over again is a rich opportunity for growth and renewal painful as it is. Acknowledge the pain and move forward. Give yourself permission to grieve and keep healthy in body and mind. You will succeed. Trust yourself.