Improving Emotional Intelligence

For improving emotional intelligence (EI) follow the ten top ways below for improving emotional intelligence.

 Know what is EI by knowing the definition. Boost your leadership skills, your success in business and discover information on emotional intelligence testing:

Ten Tops Ways for Improving Emotional Intelligence Now

1. Become More Self-Aware

Understanding your own emotions is the most important emotional intelligence skill. It's very hard to understand and feel empathy for others if you don't know or understand yourself.

To help become more self aware try meditating. Meditation might sound difficult or even impossible to you. Some people feel they can never meditate. But no worries. There are many ways to meditate besides sitting still for an hour. Listen to music. Let your mind wander.

Go for walks or paint a picture without worrying about design or color. Create a garden. Dance by yourself. The trick is – don’t think. Don’t plan. Don’t think of the past. Yes, it’s the power of now, of being in the moment. The hard part is to not think.

Another way to become self aware for improving emotional intelligence is journal writing. To take stock of your emotions, record them in a journal. For help with journal topics go to Journal Writing Prompts You will also learn a whole lot more about yourself with a vision board. Try it out. It's a powerful route to self- awareness.

Knowing yourself and understanding your life values will help you make decisions more easily. Make a list of your top 10 values in your journal.  Even though the thought might frighten you to death, try public speaking. Speaking before an audience is one of the top ways to confront your fears and face your demons. I've given hundreds of speeches and with each one I learn more about myself. 

But what if you don't understand your emotions or what if you don't know how to identify emotions?

Click Here to jump to a list of the most common emotions. As you discover more, add them to your list. Also ask friends and family for help. Ask them to notice when you seem anxious, bored, angry or happy. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize our own emotions. Improving emotional intelligence is doable. 

2. Express Your Thoughts, Feelings and Beliefs

Knowing how to express your emotions can help you to manage those emotions. Bottling up your feelings, thoughts and beliefs leads to a lonely life and gives you stress.

You will gain more intimacy in your life by sharing your feelings. On the other hand, you also don’t want to share your most sacred secrets with everyone. Like other aspects in your life,
balance is important.

Be assertive. Let the right people at the right time know where you stand and how you are feeling. This takes careful management and self understanding for improving emotional intelligence. 

3. Discover Your Inner Passions

A passion is something you are excited about. Are you excited about the work you do? Do you have an interest or hobby that you can’t wait to get at when you aren’t working?

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4. Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Some people think they are good at everything. Other people underestimate themselves. The best way for improving emotional intelligence to accurately know your strengths and weaknesses.

In order to get the most out of life, concentrate on the things your are good at and have a passion for whether it is science, music, gardening, woodworking, sewing, painting.

If sometimes your decisions seems to come from intuition or from a gut, feeling, you are using your emotional intelligence. If you feel good about some options and queasy about others, choose the ones that feel best. 

5. Be Empathetic

Increasing your ability to empathize can help you get closer to others and is important for improving emotional intelligence.

Start by paying more attention to other people. Listening is the most important and least taught of the four communication skills – reading, writing, listening and speaking. Listen carefully to what people are saying. Ask them questions if you don’t understand.

Listen not only for what people are saying but also for what they are not saying. Try to put yourself in their shoes. In this way you will become more empathetic.  

6. Manage Other People's Emotions 

You may have seen leaders in your workplace calming down agitated people. Or you may have seen a parent dealing well with a challenging child or a spouse understanding a partner’s upset.
These people have impressive skills and you can bet that they understand their own emotions.

On the other hand you have probably seen people who react very badly to other’s anxiety. You can see this in their body language, in their tone of voice or in their evasive answers.
You can learn ways for improving emotional intelligence by watching others. 

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7. Be Socially Responsible

Social responsibility is one of the highest levels of emotional experience. By your actions in helping your community and others in the world, you demonstrate that you care for others, especially those less fortunate than you.

8. Manage Your Own Impulses

When you learn to manage your emotions, especially impulsiveness, you have come a long way towards improving emotional intelligence. There are three top ways to manage your emotions.  

Distract yourself when you feel anger coming on.

Playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “Self-control is the quality that distinguishes the fittest to survive. ” Brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor says that it only takes 90 seconds for us to think a thought, have an emotional response such as anger and then a physiological response that flushes in and through us.

So when you feel a negative emotion, you have the power to distract yourself and change your thoughts. You can train yourself to do this. You have the power to change how you look at yourself and also how you look at others.

ii. Analyze your thoughts before acting. Ask yourself questions such as, Why am I thinking about this stressful problem or event.? or What is a better alternative thought? This is a great way for improving your emotional intelligence.

iii. Develop coping strategies. You can practice these in advance. Here are some statements to give yourself

  • I know I can control my thoughts.
  • I can slow down a bit.
  • I don’t have to rush with a response.
  • I can think of alternatives.
  • Let me think this through.

 These three ways for managing your emotions will be huge factors for improving emotional intelligence.

9. Be Flexible

It’s good to have schedules, to be organized and to follow routines. Enhancing emotional intelligence can happen by knowing when something is important and when you can make an adjustment to something else. Being inflexible might mean staying in a job you don’t like when you know you could find another.
It also means staying with a friendship when that person isn’t serving you well. Knowing boundaries and being open to new ideas and relationships are powerful ways for improving emotional intelligence. 

10. Be Happy

We see around us that the people in life who are the happiest don’t have everything. They make the best of what they have. Your attitude towards people and events in your life will often determine your happiness.

Ask yourself, how happy am I? Would you give yourself a five? Or are you totally happy with a ten?  A powerful way for improving emotional intelligence is to shift your feelings. If of course you are clinically depressed, you will need medical help. If you are depressed or sad because of an unfortunate life event, this is normal and your sadness will pass.

Happy people aren’t just happy because good things happen to them. Some horrible things happen to people who manage somehow to be happy despite poverty, illness or adverse life events. Happy people accomplish more than unhappy people. If you are happy when you wake up in the morning your mind will be clear during the day for difficult challenges. If you are happy, you will not encounter self pitying or other non productive emotions.

Improving your emotional intelligence will help you know when your are happy, sad or anxious.


Fifteen top questions for discovering your passions and improving emotional intelligence

1. What activities thrill you?
2. What activities inspire you?
3. What do you dream of doing?
4. What would you pursue in your life if you had all the time and money you wanted?
5. Who in the past believed in you? What qualities did they embody?
6. What are you doing when you lose track of time?
7. What were your favorite play activities as a child?
8. What were your favorite hobbies while you were growing up?
9. What moved you as a young adult of 21-35 years?
10. What are your favorite hobbies and leisure activities now?
11. What do you feel most proud about as a woman or man?
12. What do you enjoy most about in your life now?
13. In what ways can you be of service in your life?
14. In your life, what do you feel a calling towards?
15. If you had only one year to live, how would you choose to spend your time?

For improving emotional intelligence, answer these questions in your journal. Review your answers and make a list of the top 10 - 15 things that excite you. These are your inner passions. 

Top Emotions for Improving Emotional Intelligence

aggressive amused angry annoyed anxious
bored cheerful confident confused delighted
depressed disappointed elated embarrassed enthusiastic
exited exhausted fearful guilty happy
hopeful humiliated hurt jealous joyous
lonely loved optimistic paranoid proud
sad shocked sorry surprised suspicious

When you sense these emotions in yourself or in others, use your journal to describe it and the way you were able to deal with the emotion. The best way for improving emotional intelligence is to name your feelings and then manage them.   

By using your willpower, you can control and alter your attitude. You can learn how your emotions effect your relationships and your career by paying more attention to them.

Improving your emotional intelligence is absolutely possible.


More Top Help with Emotional Intelligence 

Journal writing will increase your self awareness and self knowledge. To take stock of your emotions, record them in a journal. For help with journal topics go to Journal Writing Prompts.

You will also learn a whole lot more about yourself with a vision board. Try it out. It's a powerful route to self- awareness.  It's also important to understand your life values. Make a list of your top 10 values in your journal.

Even though the thought might frighten you to death, try public speaking. Speaking before an audience is one of the top ways to confront your fears and face your demons. I've given hundreds of speeches and with each one I learn more about myself.

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