Building Child Self Esteem
Building child self esteem is the most important role of a parent. It tops all the activities you choose for your children, the schools you enroll them into, the places you live and so forth.
You are the whole world for your baby and growing child. Research has shown that the first three years of a child’s life are the most crucial for developing a child’s self esteem and his sense of whether he or she will be successful in life.
As a parent, you are your child’s source of comfort and security, the banisher of her fears and pain. Every waking hour, your young child learns about himself from you. You are the mirror that shows this new person who she is.
From your smile a child learns acceptance. From your touch, safety. From your response to his cries, a sense of importance. These are the building blocks for child self esteem.
As children grow older, building child self esteem also occurs from relatives, teachers and friends. But your child will return to you as a parent for her sense of goodness, importance and basic worth.
If you want to build your own self esteem in order for building child self esteem, check out emotional intelligence to improve your emotional groundedness.
If you have fears, anxieties or feelings of helplessness left over from your own early years, begin your own growth and healing with the support you’ll find on this site.
Also check out self esteem exercises and self esteem activities for lots of helpful tools, strategies, information and support.
Go to Child Self Esteem for more top tips on developing a nurturing environment for your children.
Building Child Self EsteemDeveloping the good habits that lead to happiness and fulfillment for your child begins at birth. The three routes to your child’s happiness and positive self esteem are for him to learn how to —
Building child self esteem does not come from the toys and candy you buy or the TV you allow your child to watch. Think back to your own childhood. What made you happy? More likely than not, it was your mom or dad reading a book to you, or playing a game with you or planting seeds with you in a garden.
My happiest times were Sundays when my Dad wasn’t working. The four of us, my Mom, Dad and sister would go for drives into the country, go skiing or just go for walks. We lived in Montreal, not too far from St. Joseph’s Oratory. Sometimes my dad and I would walk part way up the 283 steps from the street level to the basilica. These were special times because we were doing things together.
The pleasure I felt definitely didn’t come from material things. Pleasure rarely does. Positive human interaction brings pleasure and this important connection is responsible for building child self esteem.
Building Child Self Esteem Through Touch
How to Engage With Your ChildUse your own strengths to become engaged with your child. Think about the last school project your child brought home.
Here’s a scenario. “Look mom, I got a B+ in my bridge construction project.” A well-meaning but unproductive response might sound like, “Very nice. Well done.”
A more engaged parenting response could sound like this, “That’s a solid mark. Let me see how you put the bridge together. Do you remember what the marks were based on? If you wanted a higher mark, what changes would you have to make?”
The more in tune you are with your child’s wishes hopes and dreams, the more you play with your child, sit next to him and listen carefully to the things he are talking about, the more you and your child will be engaged and building child self esteem.
Later on, during the challenging teen years, you and your child will have open lines of communication. You child will stay attached to you and not become peer attached — excluding you from her inner circle.
How to Help Your Child Find Meaning in Life
Meaning involves having a sense of something greater than yourself. Schools encourage children to consider issues beyond their immediate lives — subjects such as global warming, recycling, hunger and distribution of the world’s resources.
When children understand the challenges faced by other peoples around the globe and the world problems created by the developed world, they will move out of their own small world to make a difference in the wider community.
The more kids develop compassion for others, the more they help others, the more meaning they will bring into their own lives. Some ideas for helping your child find meaning in life —
Building Child Self Esteem by Recognizing the Best in Each OtherUnfortunately it happens that family members take each other for granted. Some families don’t communicate much or offer praise to each other.
Sometimes parents value humility and don’t want their children to show obvious pride in their accomplishments. No one likes a braggart. But kids need to feel proud of their successes. You cuddle and stroke your babies. Your older children need stroking too. If they don’t get positive affirmations from you, they could begin attention seeking behavior.
Examples of Positive Stroking for Building Child Self Esteem
Examples of Negative Stroking in Hurting Child Self Esteem
Ten Results of Building Child Self EsteemWith a loving attachment with you, your child generally will —
More Ideas for Building Child Self Esteem
Building Child Self Esteem Through Your WordsWays to Say “Very good” to your Child
Words and Expressions to Avoid in Building Child Self EsteemAvoid using words that — criticize, demotivate, cause shame or embarrassment, belittle or show disrespect for things that are important to your child.
Tones of Voice to Avoid in Building Child Self Esteem
Raising children is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Our kids are not carbon copies of ourselves. Often we’re glad they aren’t!
You will be a successful parent when you encourage your child to learn responsibility and independence, if you model positive behavior.
Kids are great little copy cats. They will model your habits. The best gift you can give them is your own good practices.
Have fun along the journey to building child self esteem. It’s a precious one!
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