Body Language Communication

Ten Top Ways to Improve Your Non Verbal Communication

Body language communication counts for fully one half of our total communication. If you are in awe of someone who is comfortable asking for what s/he wants, dresses in a way you admire and makes people feel good about themselves, you can be sure that this person is grounded, has excellent emotional intelligence and uses body language in communication well. By following the suggestions on this page, you too can be that person. You can learn body language.

It’s really all about attitude. You begin with awareness. If you are aware of your current behavior, that’s half the battle. If you are willing to do some work to get results, then you are well on your way to achieving your goals.

For more information on body language, have a look at —

Body Language
Body Language Signs
Body Language Eyes
Reading Body Language

1. Taking an Interest.

The best communicators take an interest in other people. They use eye contact well and empathize with what you are saying. It’s probably true that you seek the company of people who make you feel good about yourself and seem interested in you.

If you believe that you are a good communicator, but people don’t seem interested in you, maybe it’s because you appear to be more interested in yourself than other people. If you are not noticing what they are saying, feeling and behaving, they probably won’t be attracted to you. Taking note of others is important for body language communication.

2. Knowing What You Want to Say

Well thought out communication, thoughts easily expressed without apology ums and ahs make your ideas understandable for the receiver. Be sure of your beliefs. Avoid hesitation in expression what you feel and you’ll be on the road to excellent body language communication.

You can practice speaking on your own. Just as for those who give speeches, practice makes perfect. How about starting now? You can find lots of topics to practice with.

Honing your thinking skills in the comfort of your own home before your next conversations with people will give you an edge. When you know what and how you are going to say something, you’ll have time to focus on the body language in communication.

3. Modeling Excellence

When you meet someone who is convincing, persuasive and fascinating to hear, who has you hanging on every word, model that person’s speech and appearance.

Observing other people will tell you what effective speaking looks like. Break down all the parts, the actual word choice, the mannerisms and gestures, facial expressions and body stance, of someone you admire and so you can model his or hers communication skills.

Again — practice what you are seeing and hearing. By recognizing what you do well and acknowledging where improvement is possible, you will develop and grow your self esteem. Your body language communication will jump ahead.

4. Mirroring Others

When you mirror or reflect the behavior of the person with whom you are speaking, you create a rapport and connection that leads to a comfortable speaking environment. Mirroring another person’s behavior is a form of acknowledgment and acceptance. After you have mirrored that person, try taking the lead and get the other person to mirror your stance. In this way the interaction becomes fluid and easy.

5. Practicing Gestures

If you struggle with smiling, opening your arms and standing upright, you can practice these until they are comfortable. Ask those you trust if you have gestures that may cause confusion in others. Sometimes my students would tell me that I frowned when they were talking. It was because I was thinking.

I became aware then of my body language communication and got rid of that frown. Practice the gestures you admire in others. This will be uncomfortable at first. But like all learned skills, practice leads to perfection.

6. Developing Timing and Synchronisation

How people relate to time depends on the culture. Last year I was walking around Toronto with a friend from Germany. He laughed a little and said, “Why is everyone walking around in a hurry with a coffee cup in their hand? Why don’t they just sit down in a café somewhere and enjoy some quiet time?” I thought to myself, yes, why don’t we?

In North America, we fill our time with meetings and busyness. We ask each other What did you do all day? We don’t like to admit that we read a book all day or sat under a tree pondering life.

Slowness is often equated with laziness. But those who take a more measured approach to life can actually accomplish more than those who rush around sometimes accomplishing little or nothing. Language in communication involves careful thought and planning too.

7. Acting the Way You Want to Be Perceived

First you decide how you want to be perceived. Then you behave in a way that creates that impression. If you want to appear to be the life of the party, practice laughing and using your arms and hands naturally.

Practice looking easily into people’s eyes. If you want to be taken more seriously, make sure you know what you a talking about. For seriousness, your actions will be more restrained that if you were the life of the party. Your facial expression will be more sober.

It all starts with how you want to be seen in your body language communication.

8. Dressing the Part

Jeans or a suit and tie? Black or green? What is it to be? Life would be a lot simpler if we didn’t have to concern ourselves with what to wear on a particular occasion. The way you dress sends messages to others.

The key is knowing what is expected in your workplace or particular social situation.
Dressing the part makes other people comfortable with you. Comfort is important. But so is being appropriate in a certain environment. You want your clothes to suit you, to describe who you are and also to work with the place you are in at the time.

9. Demonstrating Awareness

If you are aware of and care about the effect of your behavior on other people, you are well on the way to effective body language communication. You have probably seen people who act however they want, disregarding the feelings of others. These people, you will notice, are not very popular, unless they have other talents such as a fantastic sense of humor that lightens the air around them and makes people laugh.

Observe the behavior of others you admire. You can adapt your style to be more like theirs. The tricky part is to still be you. You want your style to work with your personality and values.

10. Asking for Feedback

Its’ hard to swallow your pride and ask how others perceive you. Sometimes we’re afraid of what we might learn about ourselves. Ask the people you trust to give an honest answer. If what they perceive about your body language communication is what you believe, you have nothing to worry about.

But if they tell you that you are projecting an impression you don’t like, you can practice and make changes. Change, development and growth always results in higher self esteem.

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